There were several things that were very heavy on my heart that I had been praying for some time.  One of the issues was clearly something that needed God’s correction and healing … the others were “God, what is happening, how do I cope, when are You going to step in … HELP!”

So on and on I prayed.  I had quit telling God HOW to do it, but “God, can’t You hurry a bit?”  I knew God’s timing is not my timing, that His ways are not my ways. I quoted the scriptures many times that He had given me to pray over these situations, but nothing seemed to be changing and was only getting worse.

I remember exactly where I was standing, saying, “God, I don’t know how much longer I can take this …” when in my spirit I heard God say, “I want you to bend to my will!”

Well, that brought me up short!  Clearly, I was not praying totally in the will of God!  At least in one of the issues involving a spiritual need, I knew how to pray, but the other issues?  

It is not easy to surrender to His will in some matters!  I immediately said, “O God, I DO want to bend (surrender) to Your will in these matters, and I want to do it with a totally happy surrendered heart … I do not want to be a Balaam that follows You but still wanting it his way!  Help me to let go and let You.  There are others involved who will still try to do it their way, so help me in conversation with them.  Not their will, not my will, but Thine be done O Father!”

As I pondered “bent,” I realized that bending is not always easy.  If you take a stick and bend it … it will break.  If you take a metal rod, it must be heated (fire!) and gradually bent to the shape you want.  I don’t want to be the stick and break, but going through fire to shape me is very painful!

After several days of God speaking to my heart, I still find it hard to truly “let go,” but it is a constant prayer.  In letting go, I still pray for God’s will to be accomplished in the various situations and also in my heart.  In “letting go,” I do not want it to be a case of “whatever will be, will be” but truly God’s way!
Reading today’s scripture, “Therefore do not be like them.  For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” (Matthew 6:8).  Praying is not to remind Him of what I need but to keep reminding me to continually cast my burden on Him!  But cast with confidence that He hears, He knows, He cares, and in His time the answer will come.  Can I be patient, or will I be broken before being bent?